Lonliness, Boredom, and Isolation

[MoniDew]

Any ideas for what to do? I'm housebound a lot, without transportation, having arranged a home-based business for myself so that I didn't have to struggle to make a living (HAH!) And my children are grown, my husband still works manager hours (WAY more than full time). So I'm alone, a lot.

Now, I do like spending a lot of time alone, but I don't like spending every waking moment alone. So, I'd like to make some friends and spend some quality time with people I love, but it's difficult. I have transportation limitations, financial limitations, etc. I'm just looking for ideas, not whining and complaining. It is what it is.

Thanks, in advance, for your ideas and suggestions.

[plantoneonme]

About 1 1/2 years ago we moved to our new home after being in our old one for 22 years. I didn't know anyone in the area and wanted to get to know a few people. I began taking walks around the block (with my granddaughter) and would stop and talk to neighbors while admiring their yards. People love to hear how wonderful their lawns and gardens look and offer advice on how to get the same. I met some wonderful people and many offered cuttings from their plants and even invited me to sit on the porch to drink coffee.

Since you have a nice tea business, you may be able to ask a couple neighbors over for a cup of tea. Last spring and summer, the ladies and I would make loose arrangements to meet for coffee (in my case water or pop since I don't drink coffee) and a chat around 10 am on Mon and Wed. If anyone was outside we would sit on the porch for a chat and often homemade treats. It was a nice way to get to know my new neighbors.

Since you are such a wonderful knitter, you may also find others who share your passion. You could have a night of knitting weekly, every other week or monthly and rotate homes. I did this a few years ago when I was learning to quilt. We had 8 ladies in the group and met at a different house each month. It did not cost a lot since we only had to hostess once a year since some months we took off like July and Dec.

You may also like to volunteer to teach knitting at a senior center or shelter. We have a battered women's shelter not to far away. Last week I took a wonderful salad I picked fresh from the garden in for the ladies. The cost was so minimal since I grew all the lettuces and greens. I added some chopped up hard boiled eggs and shredded cheese and 2 bottles of dressing from the $$$ store. Some fresh chocolate mint ice tea was the beverage. It was a nice day. Maybe you could offer to teach knitting with free yarn gathered from Freecycle. You could post what you want to do and ask for yarn and needles.

You also mentioned you are dieting. I belonged to a group called TOPS a few years ago and lost over 100 pounds (sorry to say I gained many #'s back). The cost was only $5 a month and the meetings were once a week...I still have lots of nice friends from that group even though I am not currently going to the meetings.

Also since you are dieting, how about a walking partner? Again by taking walks in the neighborhood maybe you could meet one.

Anyway, I hope this helps a little and maybe someone else could come up with other ideas for you. Kim

[MoniDew]

Thank you, Kim. I think those are lovely, lovely ideas! I really do need to get outside of my comfort zone. I tend to be extremely shy and fear judgement. But if I could put myself aside, I could see that there are so many others who, like me, could use a friend. Thank you!

[Aspen]

I think we should all come and visit. I have heard OK is lovely. Actually, I will be visiting a friend from another forum there in a couple of weeks. It will be our first face-to-face visit and we are excited. I have never been to OK and I look forward to it.

I am the director of an Alzheimer's Care Unit in a long-term care facility. I can tell you, one or two visits a month where you spend some time with a bed bound resident would be amazing for you both. Even if the resident cannot respond, they may listen to you read scripture or a short story.

Also, shawls for the elderly in nursing homes would be appreciated. My residents are often cold, even in the summer. A shawl to throw over their shoulders would be so welcome.

Or I could come visit you for a week and you can teach me to knit!!!

Bless you honey and feel free to e-mail me if you wish to chat.

[MoniDew]

WOW! Aspen, that is perhaps the kindest response I have ever had! Thank you!

Where in OK will you be? If it's near Tulsa, perhaps we could take the opportunity to meet as well?


And, where are you from? The name, Aspen, conjurs images of Colorado, but perhaps I am wrong.

And, I would love to knit lapgans and shawls for your residents! Thank you. Please contact me through My Cup of Tea, as I have a prayer shawl ministry through there and leave your nursing home's mailing address and a person to address the package to (attn: Outreach Director, for example).

[Aspen]

You are so sweet! I will get in touch with you. I have to check where my friend is--I am not familiar with the area, so I will get back to you.

BTW, I live in Indiana, but my heart belongs to Colorado!

[Aspen]

My friend lives in Okmulgee. It is about ten hours from my house. It will be a long drive, but definitely do-able.

I hope you are doing well!

[MoniDew]

Okmulgee is only about 45 minutes away from me. Maybe I can find a way to come to you. A park, or some other public space may suit us? What do you think?

[Aspen]

I am only to be there for a day for her housewarming, so I don't think I can work it in this trip. Believe me, I would love to meet you! I have no doubt I'll be returning to the area for a longer visit and you will be on the top of my list. I couldn't get off work for any longer, darn it!

[MoniDew]

well, then, I'll catch you next time.